A letter to the teenage me.

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Dear Teenage Jessica,

It’s the start of another phase. I can remember the day you turned 13 just like yesterday and look at how you’ve grown. First of all, Jessica I want to congratulate you for escaping teenage pregnancy, Lol.

Jessica do you remember when you had no boobs and you prayed to God to give you big boobs? Now you have them, aren’t they trouble? Only if you knew you were going to be busty you would not embarrass yourself by putting socks in your boobs, just to look like the other girls in your class.

Also, why did you ever beg a boy to be your boyfriend? I really want to spank for being a desperate 14-year-old. You were so desperate to get a boyfriend because you didn’t want to be lonely. I could go back to that night and beat the hell out of you. Lol. You should be patient, because now you have so many guys to choose from instead of begging for the same relationship that you aren’t proud of. Lol.

And yes, I want to applaud you for always knowing your worth. I want to applaud you for knowing that not everyone deserves you. I’m so proud of you because it has made you the woman you are becoming. But then I’m still mad at you for not standing up for yourself when you had to. Now all you’ve taught me to do is ignore bullshit even when I want to talk. Jessica, please could you learn to express your feelings and stop being rescue 911 to others, when you haven’t dealt with your own problem.

And stop worrying so much about your butt. I know you loved being 18 years because your butt started looking good, and you started feeling yourself. Jessica you make me laugh so hard. You know one thing you haven’t stopped doing since you were 13? You haven’t stopped staring at your butt in every mirror. Lol.

Jessica, don’t be in such a hurry to become a woman. One day you will become a reserved woman that enjoys her own company. You were born a woman, not a man, so I don’t know why you were in so much hurry. There is so much ahead of you, some will be terrible, but some will be very perfect. And yes, I love the fact that you always inspired yourself because you realised everyone else is busy.

Finally, Jessica learn to appreciate the people in your life. One day you will look back and regret why you didn’t tell people you loved them before they left the world. Learn to make more friends because you will outgrow old friends. You are so naïve and innocent but one day you will understand that this life isn’t for the weak in heart. I also want to thank you for being yourself, you still make me laugh. I wouldn’t trade your experience for anything.

Thank you for trusting the process, you are a strong girl. Don’t worry about what other people think. I wish you would read this letter before you become a teenager but then everything that happened made you the person you are now. I love you girl.

From the Older version of yourself. Jessica Ifechi Odili.

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